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In true keepings with self love, I'd like to start by acknowledging that this post was actually pretty challenging to write. Not the content itself, but in how to organize it and where to stop for Part 1 because it's turned out to be such a huge topic for me.
I feel like I could write a book on it...(and I just might)
Self love is one of the greatest joys to experience in life and it's the answer to how we all come together. When we take the time to get to know ourselves and focus on our own well-being, we become better people for those around us. And not just for the people in our lives, but the strangers we interact with too. Like the employee checking us out at the grocery store. A meaningful connection starts a ripple effect that wouldn't have been there before.
Healed people heal people, hurt people hurt people. That's what it all comes down to.
Here's where it begins -
I think one of the best things we can do for our mental health is to realize that we are a person too. We have a relationship with ourselves, just as with our parents, partners, friends, co-workers, or pets. We deserve respect, consideration, patience, acceptance, care, fun, and attention, too.
Everything is energy.
The way we show up in the world.
The way we speak to others.
The way we respond to situations.
The emotions we choose to hold onto, and the ones we choose to let go.
The thoughts we send to people.
There's unspoken and unseen energy.
It's just energy.
You know when you meet someone and get an instinctual feeling in your gut?
The way you can feel the authenticity of a conversation (or the absence of it) -
In fact, our physical bodies don't even end where we think they do. There is an energy field around each one of us, spanning a few feet out from our cores. This means we are all just balls of energy interacting with and bumping into another.
Energy is contagious.
It can never be extinguished, only transformed.
Energy is what makes the pursuit of self love a service to all.
We as people are getting more and more sick. We're living with more stress, which leads to more disease. We're living with more anxiety and depression, which isolates us from a sense of community. We're getting further away from our natural roots and funneled into the sticky web that is the pharmaceutical industry. Not to mention all the violence and hate in this world that just seems too crippling to think about.
These realities come to life when people make decisions based out of fear, loneliness, power, pain, hurt, survival...not who we really are at our cores.
And yet, as a culture, there tends to be so much shame associated with taking the time to get to know ourselves and feel better in our bodies. To work through the traumas we've endured in life, to be sensitive with ourselves and become closer to who we really are.
It's thoroughly ingrained in us to feel like we have to be in hustle mode all the time, and that rest does not equal productivity.
When we operate from a place of ill rest, we neglect giving our mind and body the time it needs to process emotion. So we have no choice but to bring them with us wherever we go. They live simultaneously at our surface, and deep inside us.
The last few years I've been committed to my self love journey, but it hasn't always been easy. I've felt shame for it. I felt like if I wasn't stressed about something, I wasn't doing enough, or being of enough service. Anxiety and negativity surrounded me, and it was tough to decipher what was mine and what wasn't.
I often thought that by pursuing my own well-being, I was decreasing the well-being of those around me. Like I was being neglectful, selfish, and unable to provide for them. That made rest and loving myself feel unproductive.
So one day I stopped believing in that and started believing in my own right to heal.
We are not meant to live in a constant state of survival.
When we come from a place of that stress, our actions, choices, and words are made out of fear and lost sense of control. When we go into the world operating this way, we carry these emotions with us, projecting them outwards while burying them deeper.
During times like this, our energy isn't coming from our life source. It's coming from the emotions and events inflicted upon us by others that remain unresolved.
I knew in my heart that choosing to continue healing myself would allow me to live my truth. And so overtime and through many failures, I became more aware of the energy I was choosing to give out through my words, actions, and availability. I was making boundaries of what I'm willing to accept in myself and from others. Setting boundaries comes with loss but you must do it pursuit of your own soul. You must shed everything that doesn't belong to you even if that means burning to the ground everything that no longer aligns in pursuit of living a life that you can call yours.
Someone seeing you step into your power will show them they can too.
Someone watching you face your fears will give them confidence to face theirs.
Someone witnessing your strength will remind them of their own.